It’s almost been a year now since I began this blog. At the time, I began it because I didn’t see a lot of conversion stories being told, at least not being told in detail with all the complexity involved. I also didn’t see a lot of resources for prospective Orthodox Jewish converts out there beyond what to study and read. There were so many things we’ve learned over the years in our own process that I wish we’d known years earlier that I thought a blog might be helpful to others starting this path.
I also just needed a place to be able to put words to what we had experienced and are still experiencing, both the highs and the lows. It’s easy to feel like neither your Jewish nor non-Jewish friends really understand what you’re going through.
I’m beginning to think, though, that my family and I are just such outliers when it comes to conversion that our experiences and any advice we might share…might just be irrelevant to most people. I do participate in a couple of online groups for Orthodox conversion candidates and there isn’t a ton of discussion there, either, but I do answer questions when they’re asked.
On the whole, for most people, conversion is a much shorter part of their lives, a year or two. It also seems to be a process which causes them to draw inward rather than reach out. Maybe they have great support networks and Rabbis that guide them more closely. Maybe they start the process and decide quickly that it’s not for them or else start it and finish it in a rather linear way.
In any case, I’m finding few people needing to hear what I have to say and I feel mostly like I’m talking to myself. I suppose that has its own value, but I could always just begin a private journal instead.
With the pace of preparing for our move picking up…I’m considering closing down this blog and simply concentrating on what’s right in front of me with my family and our own conversion process. I don’t feel like I have any great truths to share or unique insights.
I thank those of you who have been reading for traveling along with me. I’m still unsure of the final destination, but I have faith that we will finish our conversion process and find the right Jewish community to settle down in. I have that faith because we’re committed to continuing on, no matter how many times we have to start over and how many twists and turns happen along the way. We’ll move wherever we need to and just keep moving forward.
I hope everyone has a bright and inspiring Chanukah season!