I needed some humor this week after the news we received that we’ll be beginning our conversion process over again after our move. So, in honor of our upcoming delay…I decided to focus on the positive and try to laugh a little about this all. So, here it is…the top 20 best things about taking a decade to finish an Orthodox Jewish Conversion, in no particular order.
- You never have to have Shabbos guests, yet you’re not seen as rude or stuck up.
- Any volunteer gigs you’re asked to do at shul are generally pretty simple, although they may involve light switches on Shabbos.
- You’re the go-to person to ask on basic halakhah and observance because you’ve studied it over and over.
- No one steals your wine.
- Yom Kippur is generally stressless since you’re already doing above and beyond what you’re obligated in.
- If you’re single there is no dating pressure.
- If you’re married, mikvah night does not involve a mikvah or mikvah prep.
- You can do wacky things like a Harry Potter Seder without worrying about offending guests.
- You can try out different hashgacha at will. Want to try Dutch customs this month and then go full out Breslover next? Knock yourself out!
- If you’re male and have social anxiety, all worries about having to stand up for an aliyah are gone.
- You can get creative with your 1 melachah each Shabbos. Will it be borer this week?
- Plenty of time to test out sheital styles before you have one in too many simcha pictures.
- If you have kids, you can really save a ton on simchas. If you play your cards right, you may only have to put on weddings.
- You are generally (and happily) left out of any shul politics.
- You can try out various kippah styles without many people thinking much of it or giving your family worries.
- Kiruv Rabbis do not harass you in public places.
- Less junkmail from Birthright.
- You’re never guilt tripped into making a minyan.
- You don’t have to eat the Afikomen.
- Your sincerity is rarely questioned…only your sanity!
Hopefully we won’t take a full decade, but it is looking like it will most likely now total 7-8 years. I’d rather not get into the details of why we’re further delayed now, but suffice it to say that it’s no one’s fault, no one did anything “wrong” and we’re still on track, just a longer track than we were a couple of weeks ago.
That’s Orthodox Jewish Conversion…it’s unpredictable even for Rabbis and you just have to be so committed to making it through that you’re willing to roll with whatever changes come your way.